All of life can be reduced to these three letters. It’s the name of the King I’m serving and it’s the nature of the Father I look like. It’s the ‘I AM WHO I AM’ who called my name. He never needed to explain Himself, He never had to perform for His identity. The whole universe exist because of Him, for Him and inside of Him. This is the God who created my body, soul and spirit. This is the One Who breathed His I AM into me.
I AM. These three letters are imprinted in my spirit in the shape of the cross.
The revelation of what Jesus has done for me has completely changed the course of my life. Before this revelation, three other letters dominated my life. ‘I DO’ led my life instead of ‘I AM’. I tried to follow rules instead of relying on relationship, I tried to become instead of be, I tried to achieve approval instead of rest in unconditional love. I let fear motivate my reactions, instead of letting love shape who I am. I tried to stay in the shadows, fleeing for rejection and hiding in insecurity.
But the Morning Star called my name – Eline, the shining one – and pulled me right out of the shadows. He saw me when I tried to be invisible and made me the target of His affection. He showed me who He was and taught me to see myself like He saw me. And in this beautiful exchange of hearts, I realized that nothing I do could ever make Him love me more or less. I DO couldn’t earn His love, and didn’t need to. So I surrendered every security I ever knew and let Him breathe into me. The cross was enough and it will always be. Trying to add performance of my own strength to the cross would mean completely devaluing the power of Christ’s blood. What He has done is enough. I bled into one with Him, He in me and I in Him. Fully, completely unified with Him like a drop in the ocean.
And living from this renewed identity transformed every area of my life. Ministry is no longer something I do to obtain God’s favor or a requirement I meet out of mere obedience, but an effortless overflow from an endless well of love. I am made into the image of Love, so loving people is the most natural thing for me to do. Ministry is nothing less and nothing more than love, so ministry became fun and easy once it came out of I AM instead of I DO.
Living from my identity in Christ has completely made me free to be who I am. The fear of men was no longer relevant. What can someone do to a dead woman? How can a reputation be destroyed when it’s no longer existing? What earthly success needs to be sought after in a life that is already over? It’s no longer I who live, but Christ in me. Nothing matters but knowing the I AM WHO I AM.
From this intimate relationship with my Maker, I can love others like He does and I can live a life like Jesus. I can fully express myself as I rest in the thought that the Father is fully for me. I can dream for the impossible because I know all of heaven’s abundance is backing me up. I can run harder and further than humanly possible now I know that I’m just as much loved when I remain seated for the rest of my life. Once freed from the shackles of strife, I DO became a beautiful expression of my true identity.
What I DO no longer determines who I AM, but who I AM determines what I DO.